Multiple Mentoring Moments

When you first begin your mentoring experience and are "learning the ropes" of mentoring, you will most likely hold to the set guidelines given you, including when and how often to meet. The CareerPassport Program suggests that you meet at least once a month for an hour each time, but we also encourage you to look for additional "mentoring moments", outside of the one hour a month guideline.

Recently, the International Mentoring Associations Magazine, Connect, published an article, Multiple Mentoring Moments by Allison E. McWilliams, Director of the Mentoring Resource Center at Wake Forest University. In the article, Dr. McWilliams states that,

“Just as there are many different types of learners, we have also learned over the past few years that there are opportunities to have other kinds of mentoring interactions, mentoring moments, if you will. These mentoring moments do not require the same kind of investment on the part of the mentor, but can still have considerable impact on the mentee.”

As a possible mentoring moment you may want to send your mentee an email about a life experience you had that relates to what they’re currently studying, or you could give them some feedback on something you discussed in a previous meeting with them. You might be surprised on how much impact one email can have. Other ideas might include sending them a thank you card, or calling them on the phone.

One mentoring moment you might consider is inviting your mentee to a business lunch or dinner. This will give your mentee the opportunity to interact with other business professionals, and even though it may only be a one-time interaction, your mentee will have the opportunity to connect with other business professionals to expand their network.

No matter what the mentoring moment may be, Dr. McWilliams suggests that all mentoring moments should have four things:

·        Structure – Mentoring expectations, goals, tools available, and other resources should be clear to both parties.

·         Collaborative Partnerships – As you receive mentoring requests from CareerPassport Students, be sure to think of ways in which you could collaborate with your potential partner. The best collaborative partnerships are ones in which both parties have an open mind and an equal amount to give to the relationship.

·         Interpersonal Interaction – Even though many college students enjoy using technology to communicate, texts, emails, etc. they also crave interpersonal interaction as well. Even if it’s just for a short 15 minutes, meeting face to face helps create trust, and will foster a deeper relationship between mentee and mentor.

·         Assess for Success – Giving your mentee feedback throughout the mentoring relationship, and assessing where they are at with regards to their mentoring goals will help them know where they need to go and what they need to do to achieve success. It is also important to get feedback from your mentee as well. Let them assess how you did as a mentor, and use their feedback to help you improve for your next mentee.

Look for ways to have multiple mentoring moments, and remember the four parts to any successful mentoring relationship. Also, be sure to get feedback from your current mentees. Ask them what you could do better, and help make it a safe environment for them where they can tell you their honest opinion.

References: McWilliams, Allison E. “Multiple Mentoring Moments.” Connect Magazine. N.p., 11 2013. Web 20 Nov. 2013 http://origin.library.constantcontact.com/download/get/file/1108653809372-19/CONNECT+Volume+2.pdf.

Using Questions in Mentoring Relationships

Using Questions in Mentoring Relationships

Recently, Connect Magazine published an article about using questions in mentoring relationships by Dr. Barry Sweeny. In his article, Dr. Sweeny talks about “high impact” questions which are used to help mentee’s grow and learn. The high impact question, according to Sweeny, “involves a response that demonstrates higher level, critical thinking, such as revealed by the verbs, compare, contrast, analyze, differentiate, or even evaluate or synthesize. Mentors KNOW they have asked a ‘high impact question’ when there is a pause and then the protégé answers, ‘I’m going to have to THINK about that a bit before I can answer it.’”

Asking your Mentee to analyze or evaluate something they have done in a CareerPassport Track Activity, or in their school work, or extra curricular activities will help them to use critical thinking skills, and if used often enough, your Mentee will expect you to use this type of question often, and thus they will start to think more critically about what they’re doing with their college education.

Another thing Dr. Sweeny talks about is the power of personal pronouns. If you use “We” or “Our” instead of “You” or “Your”, it completely changes the question and can bring about a different result. Look at the following questions Dr. Sweeny uses to see the difference between using “We” or “Our” verses “You” and “Your.”

·        What result do you want to achieve that would be the “best case scenario”?

•     What could you do that could lead to the best case?

•     What problems might occur for you that would prevent achieving the best result?

•     What can you do that might avoid problems or obstacles?

•     Are there any other alternative routes you could take to that same best case result?

•     Which of your alternatives is most likely to lead to that result?

•     How will you start the process?

“Although it seems so subtle, there is a powerful effect in using the pronoun ‘you’ this way. Here’s what it accomplishes:

• The ‘you’ assumes the protégé can figure out the problem and what would be the best solution (with the mentor’s questions as a guide).

• The ‘you’ keeps the ownership of the problem and the responsibility for that decision making and solution finding with the protégé.

• It allows the mentor to ask the kind of open-ended questions that the mentor knows a more experienced person would ask themselves. Done a number of times with different problems, the protégé will begin to anticipate the questions to be addressed. This shows that the protégé is starting to internalize those questions and learning to think that way as well, which is the goal.”

Now if you were to look at these same questions, using the pronouns “We” or “Our” instead of “You” or “Your” it changes the intent and purpose of the question. According to Dr. Sweeny,

“If the mentor is concerned that the protégé lacks sufficient experience to know some of the answers and can NOT analyze and solve the problem alone, what should the mentor do that is most helpful? The answer is that the mentor should change the personal pronouns in the questions from ‘you’, which excludes the mentor from participating in answering the questions, to more inclusive pronouns like ‘we’, ‘our’, and ‘us.’ Switching to inclusive personal pronouns has the effect of including the mentor in the ownership of the problem, and it keeps the mentor in the thinking, and decision making process. The net result of including the mentor in the process is that it allows the mentor to let the protégé do as much as possible, but… It also allows the mentor to reflect and wonder about things out loud and, thereby to model expert thinking and choice making, all of which would be invisible to the protégé unless the mentor is part of the process, ‘unpacking his or her own thinking.’”

Make sure to read the full article on Connect Magazine's website and learn how to use questions effectively in your mentoring relationship. Asking questions in the beginning of the mentoring relationship can be very effective in determining where you and your Mentee want to go in your Relationship.

References: Sweeny, Barry Dr. “Using Questioning in Mentoring Relationships.” Connect Magazine. N.p., 10 2013. Web 25 Sept. 2013 http://library.constantcontact.com/download/get/file/1108653809372-16/CONNECT+Volume+1.pdf.